Prison exploitation films were a drive-in/grindhouse staple during the early-1970s, but the unusual approach taken by this amusingly misguided Canadian feature is that -- unlike behind-bars classics such as 99 WOMEN, CAGED HEAT and THE BIG DOLL HOUSE -- most of it is set inside a mens' prison, with only one female speaking role. Filmed under the title THE WEB and initially released to Canadian theaters as I'M GOING TO GET YOU ELLIOT BOY, this low-budget lark eventually turned up in the US as CAGED MEN (and later, possibly to make it sound less like a gay porno, CAGED MEN PLUS ONE WOMAN). Unfortunately, instead of the hard-hitting exposé of prison degradation that the filmmakers intended, the film is as ludicrously naive as its main character... Our story opens with a carload of armed men robbing a bank, fleeing the area, then ditching their novice getaway driver -- college dropout Elliot Markson (Ross Stephanson) -- when he gets cold feet. That's actually lucky for the kid, since the other thieves are soon killed in a police shootout and the bag of loot floats down the river. But when Elliot shows up at the groovy pad of manipulative, two-timing girlfriend Sherri (Maureen McGill) without any money, she promptly rats him out to the cops. Less than twenty minutes in, poor dumb Elliot becomes the prison's clueless new fish, quickly targeted by the wing's resident sociopathic sicko (Jeremy Hart) and shocked that there are handsy homosexuals amongst the population. Other inmates include perpetually pissed-off dwarf-badass Kovick (Donald Cook), cross-dressing prison librarian Josie (Don MacQuarrie) and Elliot's cellmate Yurik (Edward Blessington), who gets his bare ass whipped as a punishment for fighting. Thankfully, Elliot's irritating innocence isn't permanent, with the last half-hour tossing in a few cheap thrills in hopes of waking up viewers who might've dozed off during the film's leaden mid-section. After Elliot is gang-raped in the prison laundry, with a sadistic guard joining in on the debauchery, our now-hardened jailbird plots his revenge (such as burning another convict to death in his cell), along with an epilogue which has newly-released Elliot reuniting with backstabbing bitch Sherri for a bloody finale... Shot in Edmonton, Alberta -- mostly in an empty army detention barracks outside of town -- this was proudly touted as the city's first feature film production. Producer Ron Slutker managed an Edmonton dry-cleaning business with 13 stores, the film's $200,000 budget was financed by a dozen residents, and much of the cast was filled out with unremarkable local talent. Although Stephanson (who looks like Andy Robinson's less-psycho younger brother) tries his best, he's saddled with ham-handed dialogue and a clichéd character arc. It was his first and only film. The sole noteworthy cast member is Ontario-born wrestling legend Abdullah the Butcher, who was given little to do but scowl and look tough as a supporting inmate. With shock value kept to a minimum, this mostly offers low-grade melodrama, middling production values, limp violence, and a modicum of bare flesh -- scattered male nudity, plus McGill in her underwear or taking a strictly-PG shower -- with director/co-writer Edward J. Forsyth going onto even goofier future outings such as SUPERCHICK and CHESTY ANDERSON U.S. NAVY.

© 2025 by Steven Puchalski.