How could I resist a flick with a title like this? In hindsight though, I wish I had more self-control, especially with staggeringly unwatchable crapola like this. Though clocking in at only 85 minutes, it seems longer than SHOAH. Directed by Michael Paul Girard (WITCHCRAFT IX: BITTER FLESH, BIKINI MED SCHOOL), it's a rotgut-level excuse for entertainment... Tiny naked aliens (animated through the wonders of Playdoh) set down on earth with a plan to mate humans with vacuum cleaners, starting with a homeless derelict who makes it with a stand-up vac (affectionately nicknamed Daisy). But the vacuum unexpectedly takes on a life of its own, strangling humans with its cord, and sucking all their blood out. And yes, it's all played for (nonexistent) laughs. Included is a tired 2001 parody, masturbation jokes, birdshit gags, and a level of humor that makes The Three Stooges look like Noel Coward. As for the characters? They're more like cardboard creeps. Dick Monda stars as the Hoover horny bum, Billybob Rhoads is a moronic murder suspect, Jean Stewart plays a slut with wardrobe from Fredericks of Hoboken, and its not often that a household appliance gives the best performance in a movie... See a man kissing a vacuum! See a guy going down on a clay figure! See a woman give birth to a cabbage patch dustbuster! See Steve toss this chunk o' shit into the recycle bin!

© 1991 by Steven Puchalski.